Hello Jesus

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Hello Jesus.

It’s been awhile

I’ve been lost in this world

No path, no guide to follow

It wasn’t you who moved

I know

It was me who left

And it hurts my soul

I searched desperately for relief

Without leaning on my belief.

If I keep you in the background

I’ll drown before I’m found

The pressure is unbearable

The breaking feels terrible

But my cracks are not sharable

I don’t need a doctor,

I need a nurse

My “strength” feels like a curse

I stand, but nothing more

I know, Jesus, you are my cure

Why after all you’ve done for me

Do I struggle to hold your hand?

Pull me from this water

I’m too broken to do it again.

I haven’t been the same

I’m feeling kinda insane

I need to take my medicine

But I swallowed the wrong one again

My choices amplify my pain

When numbness fades, it returns again

Doing my best to cope

But I live at the end of a rope

The world never stops

No time for teardrops

Move forward, ignore the pain

It’s how I’ve always been

But this one cuts too deep.

Without you the darkness creeps

I never stopped to mourn

The one who held me unborn

I may cry when I’m alone

Behind locked doors and headphones

I tell myself I’m okay

Lie to my broken heart today

I don’t know how to cope

Feel stuck on a tightrope

Swaying between despair and hope

I tell myself it is only rain

But it’s just my tears again